My six-year-old’s latest passion is telling me I’m “not that funny.”
Kayla has invented a “Funny Meter’ and tells me daily that I’m “only half-way there,” while she and Bill are “way at the top of the Funny Meter.”
Given that I like to inject humor into much of my writing, my ego could get a rather big bruising here, but I love this little game we’re playing too much to honestly let it bother me.
I find myself making more jokes when she’s nearby, trying to inch my way up the Funny Meter. Yesterday, I got her laughing about our rotting pumpkins. I even resorted to some potty humor. Kids love that stuff.
“That one out there in the garden? The one that’s frowning? He’s saying ‘There’s frost on my bum! Get me outta here! I didn’t sign up for this!”
Kayla started to giggle.
“Hey! You’re laughing!” I said. “I’m funny!”
“No,” she retorted. “The pumpkins are funny. You, you aren’t that funny.”
And with that, she was off on her school bus, and I was left walking home, laughing at what had just transpired; wondering how to make my kid laugh at my jokes again before she hits Tweenhood and finds me not only not-funny but also not-cool.
This morning, I got her laughing by verbally creating an alternate ending to something on TV. But this kid is always one step ahead of me.
“Hey! You’re laughing! I’m funny! I’m funny,” I said, laughing at myself, and the desperation in my tone.
“Oh, no.” said my stubborn child, her face frozen, expressionless. “No, you aren’t.”
“My mouth was laughing, but my mind didn’t find you that funny.”
I hope she’s a little easier on me when she’s all grown up and attending Law school. Somehow, I doubt it. That’s okay. I’m happy just being her Mom; happy to stay smack in the mediocre-middle of the Funny Meter.
I just hope those pumpkins don’t move up any higher.
Funny Pumpkins, copyright Heather Grace Stewart, 2011'My mouth was laughing...but...." copyright Heather Grace Stewart
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“The opening poem, ‘Gadget Snow Pants,’ is pure genius.”
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“Echoes of Seuss, but the humor is all Heather Grace Stewart.”
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Sales in the first three weeks went so well I decided to add the ISBN at the back (this is an important code to make cataloguing the book easier), and added some reader reviews to the new dust jacket. All three books are available here: http://www.blurb.com/user/store/HeatherGS Please share this link with others –grandparents, teachers and parents –who might be interested in “The Groovy Granny.”
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Heather & Kayla
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Some of you wonderful regular readers have also been reading my children’s poetry blog, A Children’s Poetry Place. A few months ago, I told you I’ve been working on a new children’s book this year.
In actual fact, I’ve been working on this collection of poems for a decade. Two of them were in my first ebook, Bubble Mud and Other Poems (Electric Ebook Publishing, 2001) and the rights have since reverted to me, so I’m republishing them. The others -including a few limericks, haiku and cinquain – are my absolute favorites among the many children’s poems I’ve written and polished since the birth of our daughter, Kayla.
What I didn’t see coming was that one day, our daughter would ask to illustrate the poems, and that her illustrations would be really, really good —and funny. What I didn’t see coming was that she’d be the illustrator I’ve been searching and searching for all these years for The Groovy Granny —and that I’d be the publisher! (through my registered business, Graceful Publications).
We’ve created our first children’s poetry book together. It’s perfect for reading to preschoolers and beginner readers, and middle graders will love reading it aloud. You can preview the entire book and have the option of buying it in softcover, image wrap hardcover, or hardcover with dust jacket (the hardcovers are totally worth the extra dollars, they are gorgeous, bookstore quality) HERE:
Heather Grace Stewart 